Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Poultry Conference

Friday after I got home from the clinic I packed my bags (since my cowboy was already packed up) changed my clothes and headed towards the door with my suitcase....
My cowboy started laughing at me... and I was like "what?"  he said.. "you do realize we are going to the most ritziest place in South Carolina..."  I kinda looked down. and I was wearing my travel pair of wranglers.. which means. not the nicest pair in the drawer, my everyday boots, a belt with big buckle and a john deere tank top...  I kinda looked back up and I said "do you want me to change?" my cowboy said no, and we headed out the door... 2 hours later we are in Hilton head...
Here is the jist of the story... Hilton Head Island is beautiful and that is a fact.. but, the People down there.. SUCK AT LIFE...
First off.. we roll up into the Sonesta Resort.. and when I say roll up.. we cleaned up and drove the corvette down there.. No bell boy to help me with my bags.. and no one to try to valet my car.. So we parked... then carried our own bags.. and once we got in the door, we passed a bell boy.. I said "NO it's ok.. I got my bags" and the foreigner looked at me like the mouse that just figured out the cobra was about to attack it and said "can I help".. yeah no dude.. you done missed your chance...
So the lady at the front desk was nice... from england or some crap...
we get on the elevator.. then go up to our floor.. we get off the elevator.. and I'm like.. holy crap... this reminds me of a cheap cruise ship.. Seriously...
Well we get into the room, which was nice.. but, there was no refrigerator....
So we start opening drawers and cabinets.. and Finally find the little empty box...  So it's locked and not turned on....  I go to dial the phone... the buttons don't work.. So I was all ready to go down to the front desk and raise some holy terror on them.. and my better half dialed zero.. So I ask about the fridge and the lady says, we can stock that one for you.. I said.. "no I just want to put some cheese in it", she says..  "well, I can have one delivered for 10 dollars a day".........(long silence moment)............................... after i collected my jaw off the ground I said "seriously?", she said "yes"... I said.. "yeah no thanks, that's highway robbery".  So I hung up the phone...  all I wanted to put in the darn thing was cheese and some ham... since we were going out on a fishing trip in the morning, and I was going to take sandwiches for us to eat..
Moving on to breakfast... it wasn't served until 7am... really?  So we ate oranges and bananas that I had brought with us...
We get to the dock and get on our boat... it sure was beautiful.. There was a storm moving in, and there was beautiful rainbows all around...
Well... My husband caught like 12 speckled trout and some sharks and crap.. and I caught.... a flounder.... A Flounder... he was pretty though... :)
seriously though, I love fishing. In fact it don't matter to me if I catch fish or not.. I just like being out on the boat.

When we got back My cowboy wanted to take a nap, So I decided to go marinate around the island...
here is what I found...
The place sucks, the businesses are not well marked.. everything is in a cove or resort.. and I was tailgated, cut off and told I was number one by the inhabitants of this high falutin' Island...

After I huffed and puffed about this place and got back to the resort..  My cowboy was ready for lunch...  so I handed him the keys and told him he was more than welcome to drive around this place.. So he did..
On our way out of the resort roundabout crazy road. .. we come to a golf cart cross road.. since we were in a golf resort and all... and for the record.. the Golf carts have the stop sign, not the cars... So this dude all but hit my darn corvette with the golf cart...then gave us a dirty look... I was appalled.. pissed off and offended.. all at the same time.. so once his caravan of golf-retards passed by and we were starting to drive off.. I rolled down the window and showed him he was NUMBER ONE!!!!! with some kind words of wisdom.. like Bless your heart.... after that fiasco we ate at a restaurant called the crazy crab.. it was awesome..
then we sat around that place for a while looking at the water and chit-chatting... and went back to get ready for our formal poultry dinner thing..
after we were all pressed and dressed We got down to the lobby a bit early, and decided to hang out in the bar at the hotel...  and people started piling in.. Well you know how in every place there's that one guy that is obnoxious?  well yeah.. he was there.. snapping his fingers in the air yelling at the bar tender.. and saying "did you not notice my drink was empty?!?!"  well, after I was thinking to myself.. "what a douche"... it was about time to mozey on over to the dinner..
We sit down with some people we know and all.. and the seat next to me was empty... and it was a pretty big round table, around a 10 seater... So I look at my salad.. that the lady put in front of me.. and I remember thinking "oh awesome bleu cheese"... then it hit me... there was a black hair in the salad..  I was immediately skeved out.. so.. My cowboy looks at me.. pulls the hair out and says "now it's as good as new".. I was like EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWEEEEE... so then I wound up switching my salad plate for the one next to me.. I mean no one was sitting there...  and enter in the poor soul that ate the salad with the hair in it.... the dude from the BAR.. the real arrogant one...
I saw him coming towards us and he sat down next to me.. and my eyes were wide open and I might have even dropped my jaw.. then I turned to Clint and I started laughing hysterically.. and he's kicking me under the table... oh man... You just can't make crap like this up.. ya know..
Well he starts complaining about the bleu cheese.. and I looked at him and said "at least there isn't hair in the salad........."  then I busted out laughing and I got kicked under the table... again.... hahaha..
Leaving Hilton Head Island
Then, the guy that was on the other side of mr. arrogance.. was messing with him.. and I heard the guy and decided to help him out a bit.. and I got kicked under the table a few good times for this.. but, my favorite story about him was... he told the fella next to him to stop egging me on... so I said.. what else would go on at a poultry convention...  The other dude and I laughed so hard that the mr. arrogant said "what is so funny"  and I said "that was just a 747 over your head" and laughed even harder...
But, the jist of my stay on hilton head island was this... and it is highly frowned upon to scream "four" at the golfers in the resort... the public bathing (swimming pool) people don't like my confederate flag swimming attire.. And most importantly I must be upper middle class white trash... therefore I belong in Savannah and Tybee Island... :)

When we got back Sunday I was in desperate need of canning some of the items I had picked from my garden..  So I pickled: Okra, Jalapenos and sweet banana peppers.  Made Zucchini relish and Zucchini bread.  Made Squash pickles as well as Zucchini pickles... and Canned some cherry tomatoes..

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