Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Jamaican Adventure Day 1

From the time my plane took off in Miami headed towards Jamaica, they were feeding the drinks to my friend Sharyl and I... We had a nice relaxing tipsy ride to Jamaica... we landed.. got off the plane and HOLY crap.. we were in a third world country...  there was no air condition in the airport, the place was dirty... and I was seriously reconsidering this whole situation...  We get up to customs, and the guy tells us.. "you girls have fun" stamps our passports and off we went to find our driver...
Once we get out of customs.. It was a whole different airport.. all nice and air conditioned... :)  So we see a guy from the resort and he took our bags and showed us to this waiting room, while they got our car ready.. and in this room, was red stripe on tap.. I had never had red stripe before... so, I poured us two glasses and about the time I decided I liked it... Our driver was calling for us.. he told us to come on, drinks and all.. and off we went...
I get in the toyota van.. and I figured out.. everything was bass ackwards....  the drivers seat was on the right side of the vehicle...
he (Kirk) takes off.. and he was tailgating someone.. and I asked "don't y'all have road rage here?!?!"  he said "no mon... it's all good"...  so Sharyl and I are looking at each other.. like 'holy shit mon'..
I asked this man about 75 questions on the hour and a half ride to the resort... It ranged from concealed carry permits to what kind of cows do they have.. and all inbetween..I also asked about their biggest export.. he said aluminum.. I had no idea..  we get to the resort safe and sound, and were greated by a butler looking guy with a silver platter that had champagne and rolled cool wet towels on it.... I was very happy to see him.. we sat down, they took our bags and got us with a hostess type lady and she took us to another room to meet the concierge lady.. who then gave us the room key and all this information.. we got up to our room. and we figured we were starving marvins and decided we needed to hit the buffet.. It was a very nice Buffet. It had fish and mixed seafood, pork, chicken and roast beef.. random fruits and a vegetable medley that was steamed.  I come to find out.. Fish and steamed everything was their cuisine... which is fine with me..  we got fat and happy and we ate.. then decided to check out the gift shop.. on the way there.. We ran into some Americans from Michigan.. that had a bag from the Harley store... so we stopped and asked them how bad it was.. and they said it was very nice...... now I was on strict orders not the leave the resort..but, Sharyl and I decided we might need to check out the Harley Davidson of Jamaica... I mean really...
So we change into our bathingsuits... and get down to the beach... Sharyl went to find us a seat and I went for drinks... I nose up to the bar and the bartender asked me what I wanted... I told him a jack on the rocks and a rum and diet....  well.. he said "no".. I looked at him real hard and asked him "why?" and he informed me "you are in Jamaica Mon... I make you Jamaican drinks!"  I agreed and proceeded to watch a blender come out and some blue looking liquid poured in.. and random other Rum bottles tossed around and made into this brilliant concoction called a Blue Hawaiian..  I didn't know what that was a first.. he smiled and told me to try this.. and I took the drinks and headed towards Sharyl... She looked at me funny and I explained what had happened.. so we set the drinks down on the table, put out our beach towels and laid on the lounge thingies.. and toasted to a great girls weekend and tried this said blue drink.. holy my goodness batman.. It tasted AWESOME.. we drank a few of those and passed out for a while.. and then I was woken up by the bar tender tapping me on the foot.. I opened my eyes saw him and before I could say anything to him he screamed "SHOT TIME open up" and I did.. and he filled me up with a long pour of appleton coconut rum..... mmmmhmmmmm.  then he got Sharyl and went down the line to the whole beach.. The sun started to go down and we were pretty buzzed so we decided to go up to the room, change and go to eat supper....  which we ate at this restaurant down close to the water.. called the Reef.. It was real good.. I had snapper and pumpkin rice with mixed veggies... and a whole bottle of wine.. so as to not stop what all was going on, after dinner we went to a bar that was in the middle of the beach, floating.... haha..  so it was there that I had a pina colada and some other melon fruit drink... they were awesome...
but, at some point.. this woman came up to us.. and she said "oh my god you HAVE to go on the Bob Marley bus tour through the mountains"  I looked at her hard and explained that, We weren't leaving the resort .. she didn't like my answer so she decided to explain the whole bus ride..and end the explanation by saying "they feed you copious amounts of ganja chocolate cake and smoke the whole 5 hours"  I politely explained I didn't smoke pot and I sure as hell was NOT going to start this in Jamaica... I read the pamplet in the room, about them locking you up and shit for it... so no way jose....
that was pretty much the end of our first night in Jamaica...

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